Greg Norman Is Golf’s Greatest Performance Artist
- Updated: January 15, 2019
@shark_gregnorman
How do you follow up on a pro golf career that included two major championships and 331 weeks as the world’s top-ranked player? If you’re Greg Norman, the answer has become apparent: performance art.
It’s the only way to explain a long history of social media posts, interviews, and…well, basically everything else that Norman has ever touched in public.
Made it!!! pic.twitter.com/rT6c5zFGSM
— Greg Norman (@SharkGregNorman) January 1, 2019
Norman’s latest act came Sunday, on Golf Channel’s broadcast of the Web.com Tour’s season-opening Bahamas Great Exuma Classic.
The Sandals Emerald Bay Golf Course, which hosts the event, is a Norman design, so the broadcast team had him on for an all-inclusive chat – during which he compared Emerald Bay to Pebble Beach. Yes, that Pebble Beach.
Such sacrilege might lead an average golf fan to spit-take his Greg Norman Estates Limestone Coast 2010 Shiraz across the room. But only if you’re not in on the act!
If there ever was any doubt that Norman has devoted himself to living parody, he dispelled it in a January 2017 episode of the Golf.com podcast. In that interview with Sean Zak, history’s greatest performance artist:
- described himself as “a living brand;”
- called his ubiquitous Shark logo “pretty sexy;”
- discussed plans for his company 200 years from now (!!);
…and last but not least,
- hinted at “an opportunity sitting out there that nobody’s ever captured in the golf business,” which Norman said that “everybody, I think, will really enjoy by changing their life on a golf course.” (It turned out to be the “Shark Experience,” which is a golf cart with on-course GPS, music, and video; basically, it’s a golf cart with your phone in it, perfect for golfers who didn’t already feel obnoxious enough trampling a golf course with a small automobile).
RELATED: You’ll Never Guess How Many Golfers Made Forbes “25 Highest-Paid Athletes Of All Time” List
Norman’s monthly radio show, “Attack Life Radio” on SiriusXM, is a temple to awkwardness. The show bills itself as a monthly dive into “discussing and sharing philosophies and advice for getting the most out of life.”
Always run through the finish line…..Great way to kick off Saturday at #qbeshootout #attacklife pic.twitter.com/N7KQeLW6R4
— Greg Norman (@SharkGregNorman) December 8, 2018
Sounds specific and not at all contrived, right?
For example, in his August 2018 episode, he hosted Shaquille O’Neal for 13 minutes of painful conversation about branding, business philosophy, and…uh, this:
Norman: How’s your golf game?
O’Neal: Uh, I don’t play golf. I just like to drive balls into the water.
Norman: That’s – you don’t want to keep score, you just want to hit them. That’s what I do when I practice, I hit golf balls into the Intracoastal Waterway in the back of my house. I don’t have to worry about going to pick them up or worrying about how good or bad I hit them, so…it’s just an interesting platform, so…anyway.
Not to deprive his audiences of more visual performances, Norman appeared nude in ESPN Magazine’s Body Issue in June 2018 (not gonna link it here, but Google it…if you must), and he leathered up for history’s worst Christmas card in December 2018:
There are only two ways to view all of this:
Either you believe that Norman is a megalomaniac-level egotist – we’re talking, like, the Thanos of self-absorption – or it’s all an act, and he’s basically the Sacha Baron Cohen of golf.
It can’t be the former. Right?
Right?
Where is the saloon? @VERANDAmag #7lakeslodge pic.twitter.com/Ts5XKZ02vd
— Greg Norman (@SharkGregNorman) November 10, 2018
Bartender with a smile. What would you order? pic.twitter.com/cyVKYgqghr
— Greg Norman (@SharkGregNorman) November 11, 2018
About the author: Will Bardwell is a lawyer by day and moonlights as a contributor for Two Inches Short. He enjoys wide fairways, playing from the white tees, and accidentally hitting approach shots thin when he didn’t realize he under-clubbed. Follow him on Twitter at @willbardwell.
Sign up today for free and be the first to get notified on new updates. Subscribe to our mailing list!
Purchase the latest gear at the Two Inches Short Am Shop!
Follow TIS on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook
