Roll This Back: Top Flite To Release Longest, Hardest Golf Ball In Years

(TIS) — In a world where rolling the ball back seems like the only logical solution to save the game at the professional level, Top Flite announced on Friday their epic return to the market with the release of their new XXXL golf ball.

The new ball promises to be a harder, but more importantly, a longer version of their famous XL Distance line which was notoriously played by amateurs around the world for decades.

“With all the talk focused on a limited flight golf ball, we saw it as an opportunity to grab a share of the market who frankly wants to hit the ball longer, not shorter,” said CEO Cedric Beverly in a statement. “The XXXL specifically is designed for the amateur, by the amateur.”

The ball, which is USGA conforming, features their classic two-piece construction and “rock hard” ionomer cover which is guaranteed to not scuff. But the real difference is the core that’s comprised of traditional polybutadiene but now contains real fragments of actual stone excavated from the earth and is said to add 10-15 yards to your game.

“We know the pros won’t play the XXXL, so that leaves us with 99.99% of golfers on the planet to try and sell these to,” explained Beverly, who is on record for once saying urethane covers are for sissies. “Seriously, what amateur doesn’t want to hit it longer?”

While touch and feel around the green is basically non-existent with the XXXL, one ball should last roughly up to 100 rounds unless of course, you lose it which you probably will. But hey, we could all use 10-15 more yards … except for the pros, obviously.

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