The Silent Cart Ride
- Updated: July 26, 2026
You watch in horror as Mark’s ball sails right. It’s a miss he’s been fighting all day, and unquestionably losing the battle.
This one is tracking toward some water. It’s a red stake, so not the end of the world. But it’s the only place you can’t miss here, with about 100 yards of grass in all other directions. And he knows it.
As he comes back to the cart, you have no idea what to say.
You buy yourself some time by going to fill his divot, hoping this good intentioned act won’t be construed as passive aggressive in his fragile state. You sit back down and step on it.
You’re waiting for him to say something to break the tension. Acknowledge that today isn’t his day. It’s just a game. He has a loving family at home who isn’t depending on his weekly score of 97 to pay the bills, and loves him no matter how many balls he rinses. It’s all good.
But he doesn’t.
How long have you been in this cart? You gain a new awareness of your surroundings and you’ve only gained about 5 yards.
You cycle through your rolodex of one liners and quick anecdotes. You could give him a quick swing tip. Tell him he can still get up and down for a bogey. Insist he hit another. But you’ve used all those already on the front 9.
Maybe you should drop a quick story.
You have one queued up about the time when you snap hooked it into the marshal’s cart when he was coming out to tell you guys to speed it up.
Then you remember that the reason he was coming out was because Mark spent a combined 20 minutes looking for balls on the previous 3 holes. You decide to keep that story in your back pocket for a lighter moment.
As you continue toward the green, you can vividly hear the clubs rattling. You feel the wind working its way through each strand of hair on your head, face, and body. You smell Mark’s nine empties in the back of the cart.
You pull up to the green after what feels like a long haul flight.
You both get out without saying a word. Mark angrily grabs his putter and a wedge, and starts walking toward where his ball went out of play.
Before he starts his 100 yard backtrack, you finally break the silence reminding him to fill his divot.
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