Volvik Splits With Bubba Watson After Realizing They Signed Bubba Watson
- Updated: November 1, 2017
Sometimes you just need to cut your losses. That’s exactly what golf ball manufacturer Volvik decided to do with staffer Bubba Watson after finally realizing they signed Bubba Watson.
“When we signed Mr. Watson, we honestly had no idea who the guy was,” said Volvik President Moon Kyung Ahn in a press release. “All we knew was that he won two Masters tournaments and could hit ball very far.”
The much-hyped multi-year deal which was announced in January lasted less than 12 months after Watson recorded only two official top-10s all season, missed the cut in 3 of 4 majors, and failed to make the Tour Championship.
“After finishing 75th in the FedEx Cup, falling to #63 in world ranking, not selling a single sleeve of ball, and bringing disgrace to our name, we decided to reevaluate things. That’s when it occurred to us who this lefty douche bag was.”
It was at that exact moment the makers of the now famous neon matte-finished balls decided to hit the eject button on the man who plays a pink driver – which even Volvik thinks is tacky – and once blamed water on his clubface because he couldn’t find a fairway.
“We wish Mr. Watson all of the best in his future endeavors. Just kidding. He’s an asshole,” the statement closed with.
(Editor’s note: contents of this story are slightly fabricated … but Volvik and Bubba really did part ways after less than a year.)
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