5 Ways To Get Into Your Opponent’s Head And Take His Money Without Him Knowing It
- Updated: March 20, 2022
@jacklin_tony
Have you ever found yourself playing a match against somebody who just rubs you the wrong way?
Like the guy who’s got advice for everything golf-related but is a total hack himself? Or what about the dude who takes 20 minutes over the ball?
Well, if you’re playing them for money, there’s probably nothing you want to do more than take all the cash off them they got. All you have to do is get inside their heads.
Pro tip: the more discreet you are when you do it, the better!
Here are 5 foolproof methods to make your opponent’s life miserable for 18 holes while taking their money without them even knowing it:
The Sly Commenter
Have you noticed your golf ball seems to always go towards disaster when you think about it? We like to call these the “seeds of doubt.”
Your mind sees the water, a waste bunker, the dreaded houses lining the fairway etc. You swing the club and like a magnet, your ball is b-lining straight towards it. Of course, penalty strokes ensue and so do the triple bogeys.
Why not plant that thought in your playing competitor’s head? Think of the movie, Inception …
This can be done discreetly without them having any clue you’re controlling like a puppet. Here are some examples on what to say:
“Man the last time I played this hole, I hit one in those houses on the LEFT OB. Good thing I did because it turned out that the yard I hit into on the LEFT was having a party. Met a chick and LEFT to go back to her place. Look, see you can see her house on the LEFT next to that OB stak.”
Or a simple “there’s OB down the left” would suffice.
Now we planted a thought of disaster in his head. There’s out of bounds over there. We can almost guarantee one of two things are going to happen; either his ball is going there or he’s going to spray it WAY right.
The Nice Guy
Golf can even be more difficult than it already is when a player becomes inebriated. Balance is usually the first motor skill to go which is crucial in the golf swing.
If someone is really getting to you, try buying them a beer or drink … and then another … and another … and so on. There are only positive outcomes from doing this. Think of it as killing them with kindness.
They might get too drunk to play well. They may even want to become your best friend. Heck, they might buy you a beer next opportunity which is always a positive when dealing with an annoying playing partner.
They might get drunk and shut their yap. Or they hopefully will shoot a billion allowing you to take their money. After all, winning is what its all about.
Mr. Distracto
One of my favorites is marking my ball in a ridiculous manner. Be creative in this. A good idea is no matter where your at ask if your mark is “OK”.
If you are close to their line of putt it will probably get them second-guessing what they are seeing break wise. If you happen to be on the other side of the green, they might ask themselves, “why is this idiot asking if he’s in my way?”
Also, t
Maybe rattle your clubs around in your bag when he’s trying to figure out yardage or tell him a club you have no intention of hitting even if he doesn’t ask. Maybe make a call on speaker and pretend it’s an accident … or the always classic pop a beer can open when they’re getting set.
Be creative in doing these things but don’t make them obvious.
Playing Johnny Miller
State facts that are obvious and obscure as you play. Make them change their strategy. Don’t be afraid to tell them you can pull off a shot you know damn well you can’t. A few of our favorites:
“Looks uphill, make sure to get it there” or use one of Johnny’s go-to’s “this is an easy putt.”
“I need a more aggressive tee shot here, but I really should hit the iron off this tee even though I know you’re going to pipe your driver down the middle…”
“Nerves!”
Anything you can do to change a competitor’s game plan try and do so in a discreet way.
Bad Advice Guy
This one is my favorite hustle. Everyone always asks me what iron I hit, or what shot to hit. Why not throw the odd ball scenario into it?
If I’m playing a par-3, let’s say 150 yards, I might hit a pitching wedge or 9 iron depending on conditions. If a player asks you what you hit, maybe say something off the wall like a sand wedge or 5 iron because you felt like there was “a lot of wind up there.”
Any doubt you can create for the opposition is always a good thing.
Got a dirty golf strategy? We’d love to hear it. Comment below. We promise we won’t tell anybody…
Two Inches Short is a place where amateur golfers can unapologetically be themselves. It’s where we can all relate to the greatest game ever played at a level we can all understand.
Sign up today for free and get new posts delivered straight to your inbox + instantly receive 10% OFF your next order to our TIS Lifestyle Shop. Subscribe to our mailing list!
Support our business! Visit our online lifestyle shop! We provide a wide range of creative, original, and high-quality apparel made for the mediocre golfer by the mediocre golfer.
Purchase all of the latest T-shirts, fanwear, headwear, accessories, etc. at our Two Inches Short Shop!
Follow Two Inches Short on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook!
“Making triple bogey from the middle of the fairway isn’t just about skill, it’s a lifestyle.”
