Newly Found Goatee Propels Rose To WGC-HSBC Champions Victory

Justin Rose came from an astounding eight shots back to win the WGC-HSBC Champions on Sunday in China marking the third largest comeback in Tour history. While many will point to Dustin Johnson’s epic collapse for opening the door for the Englishman, Rose credits his new look in earning his second WGC title.

Ditching his world-renowned oversize sunglasses, the usually clean-shaven Rose showed up to Sheshan International Golf Club this week with some new-found dirt on his chin and a chip on his shoulder.

“Ever since I was a young lad, I struggled to grow facial hair. My mates would tease me all the time for it,” Rose said after the round. “But after I won the U.S. Open, I was determined to achieve the perfect goatee. Afterall, I was a major champion.”

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Unfortunately for Rose, it was still coming in light and patchy just like it did when he was a teen. In fact, it was so pathetic that some golf publications would even refer to him as a “hobo” from time to time.

“It definitely was one of the toughest stretches of my career,” he recalled. “So after I won the gold medal in Rio at the 2016 Olympic Games, I decided to give it another shot.”

This time it paid off.

“What you see here today is over a year of hard work and dedication,” he said stroking his stubble while looking at the reflection of himself in the trophy.

“Definitely one of the most satisfying wins of my career.”

(Editor’s note: contents of this story are slightly fabricated … but DJ really did blow a 6-shot lead and Rose does appear to be trying to grow a goatee)

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