The 7 Stages Of Losing Your Golf Ball
You follow through one-handed and lean listlessly to the left as you watch your ball sail wayward. If you were in a tour event, you’d have every marshal on the tee emphatically pointing their yellow signs to the right in an effort to avoid an injury.
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Going For It
You strut up to the tee box of the reachable par 5 like you’re hitting the last leg of Amen Corner tied for the lead on Sunday. You’ve played this hole hundreds of times and hit the green approximately once. But you’re about to about to increase that percentage marginally.
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Playing Through
You get up to the third green, fix your pitch mark, and throw some change on your ball. A quick glance at the fourth tee confirms that the group who’s been playing slow for the first three holes is showing no signs of acceleration, as player one hits his drive about 40 yards.
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The Bad Warm Up
You roll into the parking lot exactly an hour and four minutes before your tee time. Your arrival time should afford you a full warm up, a coffee, and a resulting bathroom break, before your tee time.
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4 Easy Ways To Tell If You're A Slow Golfer
Typically the slow group contains one or two main culprits. The issue is nobody ever thinks it’s them. So let us help you out. If you can’t spot the slow player in the group, it’s probably you.
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The Provisional Ball Conundrum
You take the club back quickly, transition even quicker, and jerk it down like you’re mining for diamonds in the Congo. You lift your head at least a full second early and deliver an over the top strike that starts left, dives further left, and takes a hard left bounce toward a white stake.
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The Silent Cart Ride
As he comes back to the cart, you have no idea what to say. You buy yourself some time by going to fill his divot, hoping this good intentioned act won’t be construed as passive aggressive in his fragile state. You sit back down and step on it.
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Brooks Koepka Living His Best Life This Offseason Because That’s What Major Champions Do
Outside the Ropes

Brooks Koepka Living His Best Life This Offseason Because That’s What Major Champions Do

By Danny Greens /  November 9, 2017
If you want to know how Brooks Koepka's offseason is going, check his Instagram. WARNING: it'll probably make you jealous...
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Japanese Prime Minister Hilariously Falls Backward Into Bunker, Dusts Himself Off Like Nothing Happened
Outside the Ropes

Japanese Prime Minister Hilariously Falls Backward Into Bunker, Dusts Himself Off Like Nothing Happened

By Danny Greens /  November 9, 2017
It wasn't just another day at the beach for Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe when he recently teed it up...
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BREAKING: Henrik Stenson WDs From Final Two European Tour Events, Is Not Actually A Superhero
Tour Central

BREAKING: Henrik Stenson WDs From Final Two European Tour Events, Is Not Actually A Superhero

By Danny Greens /  November 6, 2017
Unfreakin' believable! The Stensonator is on the shelf the rest of the year because of a goddamn promotional photo shoot! The...
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Jeopardy! Has A “Golf” Category On The Show…And It Got Dark Very Quickly
Outside the Ropes

Jeopardy! Has A “Golf” Category On The Show…And It Got Dark Very Quickly

By Danny Greens /  November 3, 2017
Hey look....golf's a category on Jeopardy! Wait, it involves cutting your wrists...hold up, what? Things got dark other day when Alex...
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Tiger Announces Return At Hero, Golf Fans Suffer Severe Case Of Déjà Vu
Tour Central

Tiger Announces Return At Hero, Golf Fans Suffer Severe Case Of Déjà Vu

By Danny Greens /  October 30, 2017
Feelings of excitement, joy and blind optimism are not uncommon.
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Is Happy Gilmore Actually A Cold-Blooded Murderer? According To This Recut Trailer, He Might Be
Outside the Ropes

Is Happy Gilmore Actually A Cold-Blooded Murderer? According To This Recut Trailer, He Might Be

By Danny Greens /  October 27, 2017
Let us now introduce you to "Happy Killmore," a mad murderer who is thirsty for blood.
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Is This The Most Iconic Sign In Golf History?
Outside the Ropes

Is This The Most Iconic Sign In Golf History?

By Danny Greens /  October 27, 2017
There's Payne Stewart's statue immortalizing the emphatic celebration when he won the 1999 U.S. Open at Pinehurst. Then there's this...
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Girl Told She Isn’t Allowed To Win Boys High School Golf Tournament…Dusts Field Like A Boss Anyways
Outside the Ropes

Girl Told She Isn’t Allowed To Win Boys High School Golf Tournament…Dusts Field Like A Boss Anyways

By Danny Greens /  October 25, 2017
While this story probably won't gain the attention it deserves, it should because anything gender-related seems to be a national...
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This Year’s WGC-HSBC Champions Photo Op Is Straight FIRE…Continues To Be A Tradition Unlike Any Other
Tour Central

This Year’s WGC-HSBC Champions Photo Op Is Straight FIRE…Continues To Be A Tradition Unlike Any Other

By Danny Greens /  October 24, 2017
The Masters may be THE tradition unlike any other, but the WGC-HSBC Champions photo op is a close second.
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This Reporter Got What He Deserved After Asking Jordan Spieth’s Good Friend A Dumb Question
Tour Central

This Reporter Got What He Deserved After Asking Jordan Spieth’s Good Friend A Dumb Question

By Danny Greens /  October 24, 2017
In case you didn't know, Justin Thomas and Jordan Spieth have been best friends for a while now. Some might even call...
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