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The 7 Stages Of Losing Your Golf Ball
You follow through one-handed and lean listlessly to the left as you watch your ball sail wayward. If you were in a tour event, you’d have every marshal on the tee emphatically pointing their yellow signs to the right in an effort to avoid an injury.
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Going For It
You strut up to the tee box of the reachable par 5 like you’re hitting the last leg of Amen Corner tied for the lead on Sunday. You’ve played this hole hundreds of times and hit the green approximately once. But you’re about to about to increase that percentage marginally.
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Playing Through
You get up to the third green, fix your pitch mark, and throw some change on your ball. A quick glance at the fourth tee confirms that the group who’s been playing slow for the first three holes is showing no signs of acceleration, as player one hits his drive about 40 yards.
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The Bad Warm Up
You roll into the parking lot exactly an hour and four minutes before your tee time. Your arrival time should afford you a full warm up, a coffee, and a resulting bathroom break, before your tee time.
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4 Easy Ways To Tell If You're A Slow Golfer
Typically the slow group contains one or two main culprits. The issue is nobody ever thinks it’s them. So let us help you out. If you can’t spot the slow player in the group, it’s probably you.
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The Provisional Ball Conundrum
You take the club back quickly, transition even quicker, and jerk it down like you’re mining for diamonds in the Congo. You lift your head at least a full second early and deliver an over the top strike that starts left, dives further left, and takes a hard left bounce toward a white stake.
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The Silent Cart Ride
As he comes back to the cart, you have no idea what to say. You buy yourself some time by going to fill his divot, hoping this good intentioned act won’t be construed as passive aggressive in his fragile state. You sit back down and step on it.
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Tour Central
WATCH: Dude Gets Drilled By Golf Ball Hit By Tiger Woods
By Two Inches Short
/ July 22, 2018
Ever wonder what it's like to get hit with a golf ball by Tiger Woods? Well, here's your chance, minus...
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Tags:
British Open
,
Open Championship
,
Ouch
,
Tiger Woods
Tour Central
2018 Open Championship Purse Breakdown
By Two Inches Short
/ July 21, 2018
The British Open / Open Championship (whatever) is golf's oldest championship and as expected, it also boasts one of it's richest...
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Tags:
Breakdown
,
British Open
,
Carnoustie
,
Major
,
Open Championship
,
Prize Money
,
Purse
Tour Central
WATCH: Kid Caddie Risks Arm For PGA Pro Dad
By Two Inches Short
/ June 18, 2018
Father's Day was Sunday, but sometimes presents are better late than never. During the second round of the 51st PGA...
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Tags:
Caddie
,
Golf
,
Kid
,
PGA
Tour Central
Will The USGA Ever Get The U.S. Open Course Set Up Right?
By Two Inches Short
/ June 17, 2018
14 years after the USGA botched the course set up at Shinnecock Hills at the 2004 U.S. Open, they came...
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Tags:
Shinnecock Hills
,
U.S. Open 2018
,
U.S. Openm
,
USGA
Tour Central
RECAP: Brooks Koepka Defends U.S. Open Title, Wins At Shinnecock Hills
By Two Inches Short
/ June 17, 2018
Brooks Koepka defended his title winning the 118th U.S. Open at famed Shinnecock Hills on Sunday with a +1 281 total....
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Tags:
Brooks Koepka
,
Shinnecock Hills
,
U.S. Open
,
U.S. Open 2018
,
USGA
Tour Central
2018 U.S. Open Purse Breakdown
By Two Inches Short
/ June 15, 2018
The U.S. Open boasts the highest purse in golf. After all, it is the USGA's premier event. The prize for the...
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Tags:
Breakdown
,
Major
,
Prize Money
,
Shinnecock Hills
,
U.S. Open
,
U.S. Open 2018
Outside the Ropes
Fox U.S. Open Broadcast Features Two Dudes Talking About Rough Sex
By Two Inches Short
/ June 15, 2018
Things got weird during Fox Sports 1's U.S. Open coverage on Friday. Lead announcer Joe Buck set up Patrick Reed's...
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Tags:
Fox
,
Sex
,
Shinnecock Hills
,
U.S. Open
,
U.S. Open 2018
Tour Central
Lefty’s Got Jokes: “I Don’t Know If [Tiger] Wants A Piece Of Me”
By Two Inches Short
/ May 8, 2018
How much would you pay to watch Phil Mickelson go head-to-head against Tiger Woods in a high-stakes, winner-take-all match? While...
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Tags:
Golf
,
Match
,
PGA Tour
,
Phil Mickelson
,
The Players
,
Tiger Woods
Amateur Hour
I Played One Of My Best Rounds And I Could Barely Walk … Here’s What I Learned
By Danny Greens
/ May 1, 2018
Quick backstory At the end of 2017, I began overhauling my golf swing into hopefully something half decent. It was...
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Tags:
Golf
,
Secret
,
Simple
,
Walk
Tour Feed
Random Dude Hilariously Withdraws Name From Ryder Cup Consideration
By Two Inches Short
/ April 23, 2018
The Ryder Cup may still be several months away, but Team Europe took a major hit when relatively unknown Stephen...
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Tags:
Funny
,
Golf
,
Ryder Cup
,
Thomas Bjorn
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